CW: Self-Harm
More ruminating this morning. I went from thinking about my post yesterday to thinking about the Police song Roxanne through the typical "flight of ideas", which in my cases for some reason involved Moses. Today my thoughts came out more easily as a poem. I haven't done a lot of poetry and I don't generally think much of myself as a poet, but I guess it has a certain immediacy, and so I'm posting it here, in the hopes that after I do I can get on with my day.
Gordon
What do you mean
I don't have to wear this dress tonight?
I like this dress
It looks good on me
This body
is all I have.
All anyone cares about.
All you care about.
What if I don't?
What then?
I stay home, cook?
Let you earn the money
Pretending to play in a punk rock band?
You beg with me
You plead with me
You threaten to kill yourself
And when I go to work anyway
You get angry at me.
You start yelling about how I scratched your records
Fuck your records
Gordon, I love you
But this body is all I have.
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